Friday, October 8, 2010

October 2010: Dirty Coffee

All right- I'm a little late.  Fuck off.

You know I love the Keurig coffee-maker.  If you don't have one, go get one.  Anyway, when I try new coffees I like to read their descriptions on the keurig website.  Because I'm a savvy shopper?  Fuck no. Here's what you do: pretend that, instead of coffee, the descriptions are from girls that just gave a BJ:  Here's a few samples:

"This flavor is wonderful. Just what is needed as the weather gets a little colder. What a pick me up!" [Indeed it is...]

  • Attractive Mouthfeel/Body
  • Exceptional/Interesting Flavor
  • Pleasing Aroma
  • Smooth Taste 
"vey wonderful with a real cream creamer.. taste just a liquid Pumpkin pie. I love it and this has become Hubby's favorite out of all flavors."  [The hubby likes it too?  You guys must have a special relationship.]

"My favorite to wake up with each morning."  [Me too?]

 "Solid blend. Just enough flavor and NO bitter after taste. Very smooth!" [Girls hate bitter aftertaste, right?]

"I did not enjoy this at all. I will admit I have had worse, but if you are like me and like somethings on the bold side, do not get this. I let my wife try it because she does not like the bold stuff and she even said it tastes like water. It has zero flavor. If you like drinking hot water I recommend this to you."   [Man- you gotta have some pride in your stuff!]

"Got this for my mother. This is all she will drink. She would highly recommend it."  [Um... Merry Christmas?]

You get the drift. Check it out!  Great way to kill a half-hour.

Caleb out.


  1. I'm always looking for new and exciting ways to perv out my day. Thanks for the tip! lol

  2. I LOVE my Keurig. The cinnamon roll flavor is actually pretty good.

    The hot wet heat first thing in the morning wakes me right up.

    And I love wrapping my hands around the warmth during colder months.

    Plus, it sounds like someone's taking a piss in your kitchen.

  3. That last one wasn't really very subtle, but yes- true.

    The cinnamon roll (and also the glazed chocolate donut by the same company) suck ass. No, seriously, this is not an opinion but a fact of science. I bought a keurig for work and 12/12 of us agree that it's the worst coffee ever.

    One point on your side though is that they also like the butter toffee- which is even worse than the cinnamon roll- so they're obviously all retarded with judgments that aren't to be trusted.

    On a related note, I too enjoy my mornings now that I can just ram one in, slam it down, and be done and out the door in less than a minute. That's convenience.

  4. You are a riot! Thank you for the comment.

  5. Someone i know have read this post and she did love.